Change in sentence

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how do i fix this sentence??

See example:

After these occurrences, the city began to wonder if the two five-thousand foot waste disposal wells that were about to be put in was worth the risk of a bigger increase in earthquakes.
asked Dec 12 '12 at 18:21 Castle Frame New member

1 answer


1

I don’t know if “these occurrences” are events that actually show evidence of a greater risk of earthquakes or just make people nervous.  You want the word greater instead of bigger in this sentence, and attach it to the amount of risk rather than the amount of increase. When it is tied to increase that means that there will always be an increase in the number of earthquakes (from year to year?) and now the increase in number will be greater than usual. 

 

A city doesn’t wonder, but the people in it do.  Are you talking about city officials or citizens in general?  Are they wondering if it (constructing the wells) is worth a greater risk, or are they wondering whether there is indeed a greater risk or not?  Your sentence leaves a lot to the imagination.  Does this sentence need to know how deep the wells will be?  This might be important information in context, but the point of this sentence is what they are wondering.  That were about to be put in is a little wordy.  I’d break it into two sentences. 

 

After these occurrences, city officials began to wonder if the two waste disposal wells, set for construction this spring, will increase the risk of local earthquakes.  If so, they must determine whether the benefit of the five-thousand foot deep wells outweighs the potential risk. 

link comment answered Dec 13 '12 at 01:47 Patty T Grammarly Fellow

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